FUTILITY UTILITY

Don't even tell me that nine of you have looked at this blog and there was nothing there.  Some kind of gracious blog host I am.

And quite perfect for today.
I have been hit hard by a tragic death--that of my son's business partner and intimate friend since high school.  Car crash.  Young, two little ones, wife.  I'm sure you know the story.

So, I wrote/prayed one of my prayer poems.  Several in fact.
Indulgently dark.  

But I have been thrown into a place of too much perspective.
Looking at the long run and history and the tiny impact of the individual life.
Feeling futile. 
And then freed by futility to let go of stuff I don't care about.
As in who gives a ---- choose your preferred word.
I don't have to do it because nothing matters.
Gets you to the simple place of only the essence.
One of mine is writing.  I want to write even when I feel futile.
Another is reading.  I want to read (about futility) even when I feel futile.
I want to hear from my kids.
I want to sit still.

So there you have it.  The utility of futility.
A clarifier.

My humor is coming back so healing starts.  You know what popped me back into play.  I found the lost key to my office.  Bingo.  Hope is back.  
I mean really.  Perspective shifts from tiny impetus.  


Prayer/poems posted on Facebook I PRAY ANYWAY--Devotions for the Ambivalent