MY SPIRITUAL REALITY SHOW EPISODE # 6

People have asked me to share more of my "spiritual reality show" which I have made into mini- segments for my book I PRAY ANYWAY--Devotions for the Ambivalent.  So I will.  Here is number 6. 

My marriage ended
The usual stuff
I was surprised by the nice guy
An affair --an abrupt ending
A shredded heart and bewildered little ones
A wise therapist piecing me back together gave me a recipe for dark night despair:
One shot of whiskey, one psalm and one thread on a cross stitch project
"If you still feel you can't live, call me"
I never made a call
But god was front and center again

With a capital G
Psalms soothed me
Prayer guided me to accept and forgive. Really. And not as a victim
But to grow as a strong working single mama
Devotional reading kept me going

As well as irreverently humored friends and kids who needed a functional mom

WHY NOT?

My basic premise for I pray anyway is that I'm not waiting anymore to get the ultimate truth or theological perfection before I pray.  I need to pray, I enjoy praying and it is an optimistic action. It's me saying "yes".

My husband explores far and wide when it comes to spiritual searching and
possibilities. He basically has always run a senior seminar series for our marriage. Sometimes I moan and groan about a video he selects when i am hungry for shallow!  

So recently we watched a program about life between lives.  Basically, people are hypnotized into a very deep strata between wakefulness and sleep and are taken to a life that was/is the source of an active dynamic in their life now ie. loneliness or a constant physical pain. They go through that life until the death experience.  The participants give very specific data that is later checked out historically--sometimes quite successfully. But, while hypnotized, they talk about where they went in between lives.  

Here is some of what is commonly described:
--They travel quickly up and through many lights--like the milky way a thousand fold stronger.
--They are met by welcoming soul-mates. This is a soul group that is like a home room. They are your ultimate tribe and are a pleasant surprise as to who in your life/lives is one of your soul group. This experience is like a very good family reunion.
--Sometimes there is a time of restoring and healing if the life they have come from was traumatic
--Next they are led to a council of elders both men and women who are old souls. Participants describe a beautiful dome they pass under. The elders are in white robes that are more energy than fabric. They help the recently returned review their lives and see if they are learning what they need to learn. The experience is described as enjoyable and not one bit judgmental. There is one leader but participants were hesitant to say God. It all felt like God.
--Finally the returned soul is given the choice of assuming another life in the physical world or to have some more respite and healing time before another life experience.

These common experience elements came from more that 7000 participants in the hypnosis and life regressions. I think the video name is Flip Side or so says my husband. (I am away on a ladies' week-end)  Sounds like a silly name to me so I'll double check when home to be sure. 

Food for thought. Sounds kind of nice.
Now to watch Downton Abbey.

MY SPIRITUAL REALITY SHOW EPISODE #5

God stayed good and I stayed devout
All through College
I went to church and Wednesday night communion
Regularly
My first roommate was nervous when she saw a Bible on my desk
She was relieved when she saw that I dated--every night
I fell in and out of love with nice guys every semester. Midwest wholesome love
My Senior year I got engaged at Christmas and married in June 
To one of the nice guys
I took a History of Experimental Psychology course
The professor said, "You've too good a brain to believe in God. Hope this course knocks it out of you."
It made a dent
But on into the Peace Corps (missionary at last) young marriage putting husband through law school as a teacher, and two children,
No church, some prayer, God diffuse and slightly scorned, not essential to a life
Rife for a re-emergence 

OH JERUSALEM!!

I am thinking about when I got truly nauseated by religion that led to a time of my being a kind of evangelical agnostic. For quite a while. 

Here's the funny part.  I was in Bethlehem on the exact spot where Jesus was born. Sweet Jesus would have had a fit. There was a huge sterling silver
star to mark the place. (think Judas and silver)  I paid money and waited in line to shuffle toward the star. It was backed by dirty velvet curtains.  I walked down a few stairs and decided to do what everyone else was doing. I knelt and kissed the star. Ugh. So many mouth smears. Then up and out to be plied with souvenir wares of the visit. I'm telling you, Jesus would have thrown everyone out of the church and proclaimed us Pharisees and it would have been a relief.

Then there was the visit to the Church of the Holy Sepulcre that housed the cave/sepulcre where Jesus had been buried. There were three separate entrances for Christians, Muslims and Coptics. Why? Because there had been such bitter fights with only one entrance. Inside, everything was covered with a thick coat of a wax like substance to stop people from chipping off a piece of the stone to take home. Although I was moved through so fast, chipping would have been difficult.

And of course visiting the stations of the cross where Jesus walked was
smack dab in the middle of the bazaar where vendors were more interesting than the guide. People dropped out and back in after buying a rug or two.

I was allowed a very special dispensation when I went to the western wall.
I got to go under the temple in a new excavation.  It took very odd twists and turns because it had to pass under a Nunnery and the Nuns would not allow anyone to walk underneath their house and besmirch their purity. I can not even comment on that.

There was a moment that should have been miraculous.  There was a call to prayer, church bells ringing and a priest broadcasting by microphone a mass all beginning at the exact same moment. It could have been a lovely moment of religious tolerance.  But after all the extreme loyalties I experienced, I swear it felt like advertising.  

The depth and passion, each for their own religion was not admirable.
It felt cheap and shallow and a little nuts. And very very commercial.

I had a big spritual pause after my Jerusalem trip.
Birthplace of every religion that thinks it's the only one.