GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE

That's how I feel on Memorial Day.
God bless us.
God bless the dead and their families.
God bless those who have killed.
God bless a world that needs a new way to deal with big conflicts.
God bless our instinct to violence.
God bless a globe dying (literally) for lack of peace
God bless our skepticism of a possible peaceful world
God bless the hope and idealism  of the founders of the United States of America and the model of governance they created.
As Tiny Tim said in gratitude and joy, "God Bless Us, Everyone". 

SURRENDER!!

I hate the word "surrender".  I equate it with personal failure.
I give up too often on things like health goals, projects and doing things for other people. Surrender to me means not meeting the goals I've set for myself, realistic of not. I punish myself for that kind of surrender.

What I'm curious about is a different kind of surrender.
The kind of surrender I want to practice is that of "ceasing resistance".
It's a way to allow good to come right smack dab in the middle of 
things being the way you hate, don't want, can't stand, won't tolerate.
In that moment comes the time to breathe deep and allow "What is" to be.
Most religions promise peace and joy in that kind of surrender.

I'm going to give it a try.  

I see it as giving up, not giving in.
It means, "cease resistance".

WHY THIS DISCONTENT, THIS HUNGER?

Don't ask me! I do get sick and tired of it.
I do think it is a soul thing.
If I give up my more than intellectual interest in prayer and spiritual life, I am relieved for a while. "Good, now I know who I am and where I stand."  I want to be a good person and let it go at that.  Then the discontent starts. How to explain it?  My life is good and yet not right. That's the feeling. So then, 
I turn to my devotional practice which gets me more crazy. So many points of view. I can find peace if I choose one path, one book, one culture, but only for a while. Soon I disrespect myself as a dilettante. So I give up. Then discontent and hunger grow again. Back to devotions.  I mean it when I say, "I pray anyway".  "Anyway" is the operative word.  In spite of discontent, contentment, good happening, bad happenings, I pray "anyway".  It's an experiment that needs good protocol.  That's what my devotions are--the protocol to see the result of a constant kind of prayer.