AMBIVALENCE TAKES COURAGE!

I may be protesting too much about ambivalence.
On the other hand (that phrase is the phrase of an 'ambivalent') it does take some courage to be public about ambivalence when it comes to religion.

Atheism is easy. Just say "No". 
True Believer is easy.  Just say "I'm right and I know it making  others automatically wrong.
Agnostic begs the question. Just say, "Who knows?" (Embedded in this is 'who cares'?)

Let's hear it for the ambivalent people. There are plenty of us.
Here is a reflection from the book I wrote titled I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent.  This was written during a tender time of wanting to have a sure footed belief.


Tonight my prayer is tender
Shy
I am bashful
Wanting to step forward into belief
But straddling—
An untenable position
Uncomfortable
Unsustainable
And yet
I'm too tentative
To step forward with both feet
Been straddling for so long
If I take a step
I might fall over

NOISY NIGHT, NOISY NIGHT

I wrote this in a dark moment of holiday craziness.
(the opposite of what I was yearning for--Silent Night)

Noisy Night
Big Sale Night
All is chaos
All is fight
Santa isn't coming
He's shaved his beard
Doesn't believe in giving
(Worse than we feared)
Sleep in denial gone viral
Sleep in denial gone viral

BEING AN ATHEIST BORED ME

I was an espoused Atheist for three years.  I was soured by so much of religious craziness and generation of hate. I read all the trendy books on how bad religion is and how there is no God and, being ecumenical by nature, I distrusted any faith

that thought it was THE right one. 

It was liberating for a while. I kind of liked saying it to people.  It was a new thing for me to say out loud. I thought I would like the shock value, but there was none. No one cared or responded strongly. In a way, there wasn’t much to say. In general there weren’t as many gradations of “atheism” and therefore not much conflict or depth for discussion until we began to talk about what we were against—which is just the flip side of belief. 

Now, if I say the name of my book I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions For The Ambivalent  the conversation begins immediately.

A young man just delivered my Christmas tree.

He saw the proof of my book and "boom".  He talked about seeing a cobalt blue light that he has learned is St Michael’s color. He has a number that he knows is a positive sign for him every time he sees it. It happens too often to be random and never if he looks for it.  He doesn’t know about God but does know there is a connecting energy that can guide people to their good. Boom. Boom. Boom.  A good conversation.

That’s what I want this book to create.