I AM NOT------

I am not an atheist
I am not an agnostic
I am a curious explorer
I am curious about what consciousness actually is
I am curious about the human need for reverence that prevails
I am curious about the wonder of nature and the body and of our earth
I am curious about how Mohammad, Buddha and Jesus became such powerful organizing forces for religion and righteousness that can ruin their true story
I am curious about the power of prayer and the power of thought
I am curious about spiritual moments and experiences
Oh hell
I am curious about what this being alive means and how precious it is and how we keep not knowing that

ANSWERS TO: WHAT IS "CHURCH" FOR YOU?

Well, that is kind of a lousy question and I will change it but as I used to say in my work as a Corporate Executive, "No matter what you ask, people will answer, talking about what they want to say".  A question can be like an open invitation.

I'm getting braver about asking this question. There may be a book hidden in it.
By braver I mean, I sometimes hate to ask any question because of the assumptions people automatically make. My book I PRAY ANYWAY is about my ambivalence about religion and God-ness and transcendent reality and so far people have identified it as a self-help for busy women, to a desire to encourage people to pray, to a statement or atheism. I wish. For that kind of absoluteness.
Maybe I 'pray' for it.

So this week, one person took the question to be a Rorshach test and began to spew against organized religion. One more irritated, disillusioned Catholic went on at length about the goal of religion to control, to gain power over others, to create fear as well as its hypocritical behavior throughout--forever. I tried to clarify the question taking it away from an actual church building toward what was sacred to this person. Nope. The rant had begun. We were at dinner and the check finally came. I had not said a word for twenty minutes. I would have liked to have lasted longer to see what might come at the end of the emptying of the bile. But he hadn't finished and I was out of time.

The next person I asked was fast and clear. Her art is her church and her worship. (In fact she writes icons. 'Write' is the technical term.) But any time she is creating beauty feels like church to her. She said, "I feel joy and a presence of holiness and calm and timelessness. Contentment even in my cray life and world. Art is my church."

There you have it. I really want to hear your answer.
www.iprayanyway.com  
I am collecting answers at this address and will not identify the source only the content in general terms and with permission.

WHERE IS YOUR CHURCH?

My husband and I are visiting our west coast kids--Seattle, Portland, and Santa Cruz. We talk about everything while we are eating everything. So we talk about 
I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent.

My daughter-in-law read the book in one sitting. I asked 'why?'  She said because it felt in such real time and she could eaved drop on someone's thoughts as that someone wrestled with the dilemmas of religion today.
We talked about the dilution of church going and how it happened. We both had church going parents and we went too until about the age of 16 when it dwindled, somewhat for our parents and severely for us.

My daughter-in-law is a superb cook and, yes, foodie.  She and my son were recently in Hawaii and we were looking at photos. Her were all plates of food. No sign of Hawaii vistas.  She works as a fund raiser for TILTH an organization in Seattle dedicated to guarding natural resources and creating an equitable and healthy local food economy.  

She was cooking dinner and definitely in a creative zone. She looked-up at me and said, "This is my church."  She went on to talk about her reverence for the earth and the glory of good food and honoring the process of earth to mouth by using it well. This was not a glib moment. It was serious and intimate and profound.

Where is your church???

DIVE IN

From I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent

Theological purity causes so many ills
Do you know
How many religious hairs can be split
In how many books
Over how many centuries?
Which came first?
Prayer or theology?
Experience or concept?
Natural reverence or rule bound worship?
I honestly felt I could not have a prayer practise
Until I knew that was true
I thought C.S. Lewis would tell me
Or Thomas Merton
Maybe ancient mystics
No such luck
Sometimes, you just have to dive in