CLARITY FROM THE MUDDLE OF THE MESSY MIDDLE

I wrote I PRAY ANYWAY for me. I wanted to hear what I was thinking and feeling. I didn't write it to publish (that came later). I didnt' write it for a specific reader. Sooooo bassackwards if I want to sell some books or have some good come from writing it. Soooooo wrong from a marketing point of view. I had no point of view.

Well, one is beginning to emerge and it is the MESSY MIDDLE of spiritual yearning and exploration with no answers only glimmers of faith that come and go--or glow and fade!

Once I am interested in something I read and, boy, have I! (I'll make a list of some of the reading for another blog.)  Picture a continuum. At the left end you have what are called the Literalists and at the other end there are the Atheists. This applies across all religions. The Literalists bang into science and refuse it. The Atheists bang into belief and refuse it. I've read lots in both categories either disproving one another or sticking a big toe into the other's territory.

I live in the MESSY MIDDLE. That is my market segment. We need a voice. We can pray anyway.
We can live boldly with our search and yearning for spiritual clarity. We can know there will never be perfect clarity. We realize that those at both ends of the spectrum have doubts about their position that occasionally come out and surprise us. We in the MESSY MIDDLE want to pray--anyway--not with apology but with the optimum faith shown in the word ANYWAY.

Here is the reflection that triggered my writing. (It's so fun to be surprised and to learn from my own writing.)

# 86
Right now
I am ambivalent about my ambivalence
It's tiresome
Embarrassing
Maybe cowardly
But it would be a lie to resolve it
Toward pure doubt
Or pure faith
The messy middle
Is my experience